My tire was thumping
I thought it was flat...
When I looked more closely
I noticed your cat...
SORRY
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Heard your wife left you
How upset you must be
But don't fret over the break-up
She moved in with me
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Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the Hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day
To bad no one likes your husband
He's bad in bed
Has bad credit
No bank account
A Police record
3rd grade education
and unemployed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love
After having met you, I've changed my mind
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life
I never believed in Hell until I met you
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
that you're not here to ruin it for me
................................................................
................................................................
Congratulations on your promotion
Before you go...
Would you like to take the knife out my back?
You'll probably need it again
***************************************************************************
Happy Birthday, Cousin Uncle Dad
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
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Happy Birthday
You look great for your age...
Almost Lifelike
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me
Now that we've broken up...
I think it's time you kept your promise.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have been friends for a very long time...
Let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm so miserable without you...
It's almost like you're here
=====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
Did you ever find out who the father was?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
So we're having you put to sleep.
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